Oprah+Goofy=Ketchup

So on Wednesday night I was lucky enough to hear and see Oprah.  It was a fabulous night and I do not care what anyone says, she is great.  I first saw Oprah when I was a University student in 1986 and with the exception of a few years when I was in New Zealand and England, I have watched her most days.  I did go through a period of dissatisfaction but in the 1990’s when Oprah turned her back on the Jerry Springer style of talk show, I followed her along the path of self improvement.  In the late 90’s I was home with my boys, questioning my purpose and life choices and she showed me it was OK to  put myself before others (still working on that one), that I did not have to settle for less in my life and to dream BIG dreams.  I had the courage to get my Financial Planners designation (CFP) and in 2005 to go back and finish the University degree that I failed to get the first time (BA in Economics). I started crossing things off my bucket list and began to find myself again.  I still dream big dreams, I still add items to my bucket list as I cross others off and somewhere along the way I found myself again.  I took what I learned added the love of my husband and sons and have evolved into a person I like.  The stranger in the mirror is gone and the reflection smiling back at me is a better, stronger me and I love it. 

My friend Caroline wrote a beautiful blog piece about her night at Oprah, I could not have put it any better so please read her blog and I second every word she wrote.

Oprah Energy

Maybe it was the Oprah effect, knowing I would be seeing her soon, or maybe it was the encouragement of my running buddy Barbara but on Tuesday I decided to dream HUGE and registered not for the Disney marathon in January but the Goofy marathon and a half.  That’s right, on the Saturday I run a half marathon and on the Sunday I will run my first ever marathon.  OK, running it might be a stretch, running/walking/crawling might be more accurate but I will sure give it 110%.  Barbara will be there to do it with me (thank God) and she is even running the 5K the day before with her family.  I swore when I started running I would never run a marathon and now I have signed up for this crazy event so pass the ketchup, once again I have to eat my words.

I think that most of us have a tendency to sell ourselves short, to downplay our abilities and strengths and to aim too low. We focus on what we cannot do instead of what we can do.  We find ways to criticize ourselves and to belittle our accomplishments.  We waste too much energy on what we are not, at least in our own mind.  One of the quotes I took from the Oprah talk was “Whatever follow, I am_________, follows you. “  For years I have told myself and everyone else that I was not a runner…well guess what? 

I AM A RUNNER. 

I AM A TRIATHLETE. 

I AM WORTHY.

Now it’s you turn, write your own I AM statement and put it somewhere you will see it so when you have moments of self doubt you can remind yourself what who you truly are. 

Strong women

So I have been thinking about the strong women who influence me in my life. I will be going to hear and see Oprah on Wednesday night, a great women who helped shape the last 20 years of my life with her talk show.  Oprah had a large platform to influence other but many of us have small ones and our influence is less celebrated but equally important.

I want to celebrate my friend Josee who wrote a heartfelt letter to Lululemon about their lack of clothing for real women.  It is ironic that an athletic clothing company has small sizes only and no clothes for real women with curves and junk in their trunk.  I know how I felt not being to to fit into their clothes, I now do but just.  Thank you for having the courage to speak your mind and take a stand for real women everywhere. 

Here is a link to her letter on Facebook.

Dear Lululemon

I want to celebrate my friend Barb who is training for her first marathon.  Training for a marathon is hard enough but doing it while working a full time job and having a family is extra tough.  I look forward to celebrating your success with M&M's on the train ride home from Toronto on may 5th.  You are showing me that anything is possible and I look forward to running my first marathon with you next January. 

I am thinking about the strong women I connect with in a Facebook group I am part of.  We all struggle with our body, we have fitness goals and challenges.  When we have a bad day, we have people who help lift us up and tell us it's OK.  Twice a week we celebrate our successes and celebrate others, it's the favorite part of my day.

Mostly today I am thinking of my friend Shauna.  About 6 years ago, Shauna asked her dermatologist to remove a small mole on her hip that bothered her when she wore her bikini.  Shauna started running and worked hard to get into shape and wanted to feel better in her bathing suit. It turned out Shauna had stage 4 skin cancer and her vanity had in fact saved her life.  She fought hard and is now cancer free, changed her life and eventually started running again.  This year she turned 40 and qualified to run the Boston Marathon next Monday.  However the run goes, it is her victory run, a victory over Cancer, a celebration of life and I will be celebrating with her that day.

We all have strong women who influence us in big and small ways.  Take time to thank them and tell them they are making a difference in your life. 

Weighty Matters

So it is April, 33 days until my first half marathon of the year.  I finally got a great long run in on Sunday with my running buddy Barb, 19K in the sun on Sunday, it was fabulous.  I also attended a 2 day swim camp this weekend, hoping to get some help with my swimming, more efficiency with my stroke.  Part of the swimming clinic was a body analysis and review. I have struggled with my weight for years and in 2010 I finally got to a healthy (according to me) weight.  For the 2 years that followed I ate what I wanted, exercised regularly and stayed with 5 lbs of my goal weight.  I used my clothes as my guideline, if they felt tight, I cut back on the extras for a few days and things went back to normal.  

Last September I decided maybe I should lose a little bit more weight, as I increased my distances; I was worried about the wear and tear on my body.  Well let’s just say I am wasting a whole lot of energy worrying about calories, what to eat, when to eat it and in what combination.  Normal eating, attuned or mindful eating, Paleo, Low Carb, whole food, clean eating, it gets so confusing.   Am I eating too much, am I eating too little, how much is enough…I don’t know anymore.  

This is what I know for sure:

- I need to eat to fuel my body so it can do the things I ask of it.  

- I am human; I have good days and bad days 

- I do not want to have cheat meals/days, I am too important to cheat on.  

To me the 80/20 philosophy seems like my best option, if I eat well 80% of the time, who cares about the other 20%.  I can not and will not live without wine or chocolate, cheese or peanut butter and I should not have too.  Same goes with exercise, if I hit 80% of my scheduled daily workouts, the other 20% will not make a big difference.   I do not care what the scales say or my body fat %; I finally have a body I am proud of, a body that gets me over the finish line, a body that is mine.  I have decided that I need to spend my energy living in this body; living life to the fullest and not worrying about numbers…and that is a big thing for me.

More Then A Feeling

Like a lot of my friends, this winter is getting me down.  I am so sick of snow and cold temperatures, tired of my injury keeping me from running and worried about my next race in 6 weeks (eek).  I have missed running, it's more then the endorphin's runners get, or that runners high, it's part of my life.  Not running is like a part of you is missing, something is not quite right and there is nothing you can do about it.  

Looking for motivation and inspiration one day I came across a book review of  A Life Without Limits: A World Champion's Journey by Chrissie Wellington on the From Couch to Ironwoman blog.  I want to read that book, maybe it was what I needed.  I went to my online bookstore to order it but it was not out in paperback yet, it will be next month so I decided to wait. 

The book for April was The Long Run by Matt Long so I decided to read that one first.  Matt is a FDNY firefighter who ran marathons and did an Ironman before he was hit by a bus on December 22, 2005.  He was given a 5% chance of survival and told he would probably not run again.  The book details his story and his recovery, the good, the bad and very bad.  All through his recovery he had one underlying thought, he wanted to run again.  Until he completed the NYC Marathon again, his recovery would not be complete.  He was an athlete before the accident and he needed to be one again, for himself, because it was part of his life and he did not feel complete without it.  One line struck me when describing his life before the accident..."Everything I have, I worked for.... none of it came easy.  If it had, everyone would be out doing Ironmans."

Most of my friends are not natural born athletes, we work at it, we work darn hard.  We struggle, we get injured, we have good runs and bad runs and days we wonder why we run.  We run for a variety of reason, most for health and weight loss or maintenance, some for the medals and the PRs the drive them to keep training, others because it's a part of their lives.  We keep at it, we keep pushing and training and working, it is not easy, giving up is easy, running and training is hard.  I run for all these reasons, slowly running and training for triathlons have become as much of my daily routine as brushing my teeth.  Matt's book has re-ignited the fire and passion for training...I am hoping this fire can help melt the snow since Mother Nature sure does not seem willing to do so.

A Little Irish Luck

So today I ran for the first time in 2 weeks, it is week 4 of the calf injury.  I ran the St Patrick's Day 5K, it was a beautiful day, cold but sunny and I was anxious to see how the calf held up.  I left my watch at home and I was going to run by feel, I would go as fast as the calf would let me, if I had any sharp pain, I would stop and walk.  I ran all the way to the halfway turnaround, took a short break to massage the calf to see if it was tightening up and it felt good so I carried on to the finish.  The run was not pain free, I felt the calf muscle, a dull pain just to let me know it was there but manageable.  I resisted temptation to speed up as we got to the finish and I was surprised my my time.  My time was faster then I thought it might be, it was a 7min km pace, my long slow run pace when I am fit, more then I hoped for today.  The calf muscle is sore now but nothing unbearable.

Today's run did tell me that the calf would not be ready for half marathon training anytime soon however so I need to adjust my plans. Tomorrow I start training to walk the half marathon May 5th not run it as I had planned.  For some reason walking does not bother the calf muscle as much as running does.  I might be able to run part of it but my cardio will not be good enough to run the whole thing, that I know.  Hopefully the weather will get warm soon so I can cycle more but for now I hope to swim 3 times a week, cycle twice and run a 5K when I can, Saturdays will be my long slow walk instead of a run.  I walked a half marathon in 2010 so I have a time to beat which will keep me motivated.  I will now focus running the 10K in Halifax and the 5K in Ottawa rather then worrying about the half marathon.  

We make plans and when things do not go as planned, we adjust, simple as that.  I am not going to get upset about this, it is what it is but I am not going to let me defeat me either.  I will take any bit of Irish Luck I can get however so I can sort out this injury and return to running soon but until then I will be 'walking away with myself'.

“All human plans [are] subject to ruthless revision by Nature, or Fate, or whatever one preferred to call the powers behind the Universe.” 
― Arthur C. Clarke, 2010: Odyssey Two

I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues

Week 3 of the calf muscle saga and I am feeling blue.  I have one or two good days and then the muscle seizes up again and I can't run.  I head back to see my chiropractor and I am good for a few more days but come on....I WANT TO RUN!  I know you do not get what you want in life, you get what you need and I am trying to stay positive but my next half marathon is in 8 weeks and I have a 5K race next Saturday.  I am wondering if swimming is the cause, not the running, I will have to ask Steve about that tomorrow.  My calf muscle was fine until after yesterdays killer swim practice but what ever the cause is, I need to fix it...soon.  I have been really lucky with my training, no big injuries to keep me sidelined for too long so this is terrible.  A few years ago, I would be happy for any excuse not to run but now it's a part of my life and I miss it.   

SUAR- injury loves company

I remember reading in Shut Up and Run that there are 5 stages of  injury, I think I am in the bargaining phase, I just want to get this sorted out in enough time to train for my half marathon, I need about 6 weeks and I am running out of time!  I need to breath, get treatment, not push it and let the universe take its course. I know I can walk the half marathon if I need too but I would rather run it but either way I am not letting Team Diabetes down, I will be there ready to walk, run or crawl if I need too.  

I have learned that exercise is now part of my life, I need to do it and I really miss it...being injured sucks!

Swimming with the Fishes

So I am a water baby, makes sense since I am a Pisces I guess.   I can not remember a time I did not swim, I took swimming lessons as a child and grew up in a city with lots of lakes.  My best summer memories were swimming in the many Dartmouth lakes with my friends.  Eventually I joined a swim team in Jr High and I loved it.  Whatever level you are in there is an order to things, you start in the slowest lane as the slowest swimmer and work your way to being the fastest swimmer in that lane and then move up to the next lane, again the slowest.  I remember after I moved up a lane once, the lead swimmer made some rude comment that I was so slow and perhaps granny needed a walker, he was 11 and I was 14.  That memory was buried deep in my memory bank until Monday. 

I joined a master swim team in  January, so it has not been quite 2 months yet but I am getting back into it.  Again I started in the slowest lane and worked my way up and 3 weeks ago I was moved up a lane, I was thrilled.  Most of the swimmers in my new lane are Triathletes and only do front crawl, in fact I am the only swimmer in my lane who can do all 4 strokes.  When we do front crawl, I am the slowest, it is not my best stroke but when we do any other stroke, I am second of third in the lane.  Monday was a tough practice, we were doing 3x200 sets, not my favorite.  I am very aware of my shortcoming in front crawl so if I am causing a bit of a traffic jam of swimmers behind me, I step out and wait until they pass.  Imaging my surprise when a swimmer came up to me Monday and said perhaps I should go back to the slow lane as I was holding them up too much.  I was shocked and hurt, I did not know what to do.  It was almost the end of the practice so I hung in there and finished.

Today I started in my lane after checking the board, we were starting with anything but front crawl, I was safe.  My calf muscles were really sore today, they are still causing me issues and a massage yesterday really hurt this morning.  When we moved on to 3x100 front crawl sets, I moved over to the slower lane.  I was afraid I could not make the timings with my sore muscles and I did not want to cause problems again today.  Well you know what, I did it in the time for my lane each and every time.  I was good enough to be there!  I was so afraid of being in the way and I was selling myself short.  The only way to get faster is to push myself, not take the easy out and move to a slower lane.  Never again am I going to allow myself to be intimidated by another swimmer, if my coach thinks I am good enough, that is all that matters to me.  Everyone has to star somewhere so lets support others and encourage others, not put them down.