Monday, 4 March 2019

Why I am doing the CrossFit Open

People who know me know 2 things, that I like to do things way outside my comfort zone and  I like to make plans (usually about doing things outside my comfort zone). I learned a long time ago that I need to make SMART goals and part of that is giving myself time to plan, think, overthink and train for whatever my goal is.  

On February 22nd, I did something totally out of character, I registered for the CrossFit Open. I had not planned on doing it, this was a spur of the moment decision, heck, I don't even do CrossFit, but something that day whispered to me to give it a go and...I did.  

One of the things I struggle with is Perfectionism, if I have the perfect training plan and hit 100% of my workout and do everything perfectly my race will be perfect and I will achieve my goal. Well, this has never happened, juggling 2 businesses, family and friends and other activities means I rarely hit 100% of the workouts on my training plan and then I feel like a failure. Perfectionism demands 100%, anything else is failure, there is no middle ground. Perfectionism companion is Shame and it’s voice lives in my head when I am not perfect.

For the last few years, my business has demanded a lot more attention and rightly so, I have given it priority.  As a result, my training has been inconsistent and my race results less than stellar. It was really starting to mess with my head and then Shame would chirp in, see you are not good enough, who do you think you are fooling and the are fat and not athletic and you are making a fool of yourself.  

So why would I set myself up to fail and open myself up to this mental shaming?  

I started doing strength training to help my athletics when I turned 50 and for the last year I have been doing CrossFit style workouts (WODs) as a way of keeping my training from becoming boring. I cannot do many of the moves and I am limited to the equipment we (my trainer and I) have but we make it work. I discovered CrossFit in 2017 when NetFlix recommended “Fittest on Earth” and I could not believe that people did this as a sport. These athletes are superhuman! If you have not watched them ( there are 2 or 3 on Netflix) check them out.

The CrossFit Open is a 5 week event that is open to everyone around the world.  The workouts get posted Thursday night and you have until Monday to post your best score for that workout.  The workouts have scaled versions for us mere mortals and differences for each age group as well. I knew going in that I had never done many of the skills required and that I would be struggling every week but I knew I wanted to do it.

Two weeks in and as expected, I am doing some of the skills for the first time, like wall ball throws which I caught with my face the first time, and it is really hard to finish even the basic workout. I am also having a blast!  Each week I am so happy that I managed to do even a fraction of the workout and accomplished something I had never done before. Yes, for a nanosecond I might think, well that sucked but then I remember that this is all new to me and I did it.  

In my journey of learning that I am perfectly imperfect, this was an important stepping stone and I am once again glad I had the courage to listen to the tiny whisper that said...just try.

Tuesday, 1 January 2019

My word for 2019

Happy New Year!
I cannot believe it is 2019!  I am not sure where 2018 went but its a new year and a chance to make new goals and try new things.  2018 was not the year I had hoped for athletically, my 70.3 in June was not what I had trained for and it took me a long while to get over it.  I basically took the summer off and spent the fall doing the bare minimum to stay semi fit and to be able to run my 2 half marathons, the Army Run and the Syracuse Half marathon.

I think this was what I needed and I am glad I listened as it gave me a chance to let my Achilles heal  and to figure out what I wanted from my athletics.  I am usually not happy with my results and push myself to improve and get better without taking time to recognize what I am accomplishing.  A few good friends said things to me and they hit home, I spent time thinking about it and then decided to shift my perspective.

In the past few years, I have found this in my business life as well. I keep pushing myself to do more, learn more and accomplish more and do not take time to enjoy what I have accomplished.  It has been 2.5 years of change and challenges at work and it has taken its toll but we have worked through it and will continue to work hard.  Any business owner knows it is not a 40 a week job and you need to keep working but we also need to take time to recognize what we have accomplished.

Since my Ironman in 2015, I have felt stuck in one place, not progressing athletically and dealing with the same issues at work. In September, I saw Tony Robbins in Ottawa and made a decision to go to LA in March 2019 for his Unleash the Power Within Seminar, hoping it would help me figure out what's next.  Since then I have done a lot of thinking and began to realize how much I have accomplished, Neale and I will be married 30 years in Aug 2019, no small feat these days; we raised 2 sons who both graduated from University, are working and more importantly are great young men; I own/co-own 2 businesses and get to work on amazing projects; as well I have accomplished my goals in running, swimming and triathlon that I have set myself, not an easy task with my work load and other stuff I do.

All this thinking lead me to my word for 2019....

I want  to spend 2019 being grateful for all the amazing people in my life, being grateful that my body allows me to do crazy things and to be grateful for my amazing husband and sons who have supported me through it all.  Of course, me being me I do have some goals, I have not changed completely!  I am going to work towards these goals with a grateful heart and enjoy the journey,