This has not been a good week for me, too much to do, not enough time, to many demands and not enough sleep. I have also let something creep back into my life I thought I had gotten rid of...FEAR. FEAR, that four letter word that has ruined more dreams then it deserves to. Along with its buddies, I can't and I'll fail, fear has been a terrible trio in my life. They led me down the path to being overweight and a life of self doubt and unfinished dreams. Three years ago I thought I put then away, in a place far, far away but they found their way back to the surface and are back with a vengeance.
I am always scared when I move up to a new running distance but I know I am ready and have faith in the new RR program. I am always scared when I step on the scales and see extra pounds creep back on as I worked so hard to get them off but I know what to do to get them off again. This is not that case right now and I am afraid. For the first time in a long time I am afraid I might not finish an event, my triathlon and those 5 extra pounds that crept back on are stubbornly not coming off again.
I can give in to fear and those 5 pounds will become 10 or more and I can give up, stop training, not risk failure and not do my triathlon. I have struggled with this all week but a little voice in my head keep saying "What would you do if you knew you could not fail". All week the voice in my head keep getting louder and louder and yesterday I finally heard it, I mean really heard it and understood. I have been here before and did not fail and I could do it again, and again, and again if needed. One day at a time, one ride/swim/run at a time, one pound at a time, I can do it. Like my new Nike T-shirt says "Every damn day, just do it!"
Tomorrow I head out for my 7K long run and start my new training and eating plan and I will succeed, I will feel the fear and do it anyway.