So I am down in the dumps and can't shake it off, which is unusual for me. I was on such a high after my half Iron distance race, I had a great week after an then came Sunday and my 36k run. It started out much like any other Sundays, up early a cup of coffee and a large glass of water followed my oatmeal and blueberries but somewhere along the way it changed. I had to do 4k more then my group so I got there early and ran and extra 2.6K, if I was short I could do the extra after but the posted routes usually go long and I sure did not want to do more then I had too.
It was a beautiful fall day, perfect running conditions and I was ready. Maybe it was the fact that my clinic instructor started with "This is going to SUCK and you are going to hit THE WALL, not the best start of a motivational speech. The route was an out and back, not my favorite but I was determined to rock it and prove to myself I was ready for Chicago. Once we got to the turn around and I knew I had to run back the same way the joy of running and energy seemed to drain out of me, every step seemed so hard. The last 5K I just kept moving forward, I was tired and I wanted it to be DONE. I finally finished and was a km short but there was no way I was going to do another, I was done. I finally headed home and parked myself on the sofa, feeling like crap and mad that it was so hard. I did not prove I was ready for my marathon, instead I am left wondering if I can actually do a marathon. Sorry, let me correct that, I can do anything I put my mind too but I want to enjoy the experience, not suffer through it.
I know we all have bad runs and bad runs help us prepare for bad races but I want a great race, not time wise great as my marathon time will have a 5 in front of it but a great marathon experience. On Sunday, the FUN left and I am waiting for it to come back.