So I had my meltdown a few weeks ago and I made it through. I picked myself up, brushed myself off and got back to work. I actually felt stronger, mentally and physically over the last few weeks. They say what does not kill you makes you stronger and that is how I felt. My running and swimming have improved, I felt better during and after each workout and I am getting faster. I ran a 5K on my treadmill on Jan 4th in about 31 mins and I ran one on Jan 29 and I took a full second off my time, I did it for the first time in 29:41. I was thrilled, first time under 30 mins! My 5K time had been fairly consistent for the last year so this was proof that my hard work was paying off. Sometimes we get so lost in the process and disappointed when things do not go as planned but if we stick with it, we do more then we thought possible.
I am still struggling with my food intake, finding the balance between food intake and exercise and trying to lose 10-15 more pounds before Triathlon season starts. I am trying not to worry about the weight loss, I am trying to make sure I give my body the proper fuel to do my workouts, if the weight comes off, great, if not that's OK too. I have a big year of races and I will focus on fueling my body for performance rather then depriving it for weight loss. I think we all want to be a bit thinner or better looking in the mirror but my body allows me to do things I could not even dream of a few years ago so I am going to say "Thank You" and treat it well.
Part of treating my body well is the mental part, stopping the negative self talk, focus on the positive and celebrating my achievements. I am trying to say, "I am" more then 'I am not", to think about what I am rather then what I am not and to catch myself before I say anything negative about myself. It's harder then you think to break that habit but I am trying hard and I am getting better at it. I am going to keep working on this going forward.