Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

What do you see when you look at this photo?  

A happy person who just finished an athletic event right? Yes, that is me finishing my first Triathlon in August.  When I look at that photo I see the roll of fat above and below my number belt, sad isn't it.  Yes I was happy I finally finished a triathlon but I was also sad that even after losing all my weight, I still looked like this.  This photo has haunted me for the last few months; it has pushed me to lose more weight this fall.  Well now I have started to train for my summer triathlons and I am struggling.  Not because I cannot do the workouts but because I cannot do the workouts feeling the way I do right now.  I have no energy, I am tired and the spark has gone out.  I really want to lose 10 more pounds but even more then that I really really want to do all my events this year, I want to feel better and I want my spark back. 

I turned to a wise friend who has been there and who shared the same struggles as I have.  I knew the answer deep inside; I just needed some to pull it out of me.  She is really smart and a great athlete so go check out her blog too.  Katie's blog

I need to fuel my body to do the work I ask of it, you put fuel in a car if you want drive anywhere, otherwise you stand still.  It’s simple but so hard at the same time.  I went to a blog she recommended and it said to maintain my current weight I need to eat almost double the amount of calories I am eating now, DOUBLE, oh my!  I am not quite sure I can do that but I do need to eat more, more good quality food.  I knew this, I know this, it’s just hard to believe that you can eat more and not put on weight.  

How much should you eat

What I also realized this week through other peoples comments is that the mirror is a liar, it’s a huge liar and I should not believe it.   The mirror does not reflect the beauty inside a person; it does magnifies the tiny flaws we worry about on the outside.  The mirror does not show my creativity, my passion, my dreams or my soul but it does have the power to destroy all of them.   I will work at not listening to the mirror, the one on the wall and the one on my head, I will eat more to fuel my body to work hard and I will learn to love my rolls of fat in a tri suit, let’s face it, only a stick figure would look good in a skin tight spandex onsie anyway.